Dear Kathy,
Am I worth fighting for? I have fought tooth and nail to make sure that I am safe and happy. But is it worth it anymore. You are barely part of my life. You place all of your burdens on me, and expect me to just remain quiet about mine. And what do I do? I blame myself. I take all of your unburdening and I turn it into self hatred. It becomes the voice in my head telling me that I will never be able to fix anything. I cannot repair our relationship. I cannot repair myself. I cannot stop the voices telling me that I am not good enough. That I am not worth it. And it just makes me angry. What was it all for if it caused more pain and heartache than actually fixed anything? I used to think that it was for me. That I was fighting for my own happiness. But now I wonder if it was all for them. Was I only fighting for my brothers? And now that they don’t need me to fight for them, what am I fighting for?  
Love always,

C

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