Dear Kathy, 
I texted you today to see how you are doing, because it hurts me that we never talk. It hurts me that I can’t text you to tell you the little things that happen in my life. I hate that we have such a huge strain on our relationship. I want to be able to text you when my ex messages me out of the blue. I want to be able to laugh with you over the ridiculous stuff. And cry with you over tv shows. I want to be able to drop by wherever you live. But once again you threw your insecurities in my face. You put all of your hurt and anger on me, and I don’t deserve that. You told me that you feel as though you have been crying for so long. I have been crying for much longer. You said that it can’t hurt any worse, but every chance you get you lash out at the ones who love you. You do not try to remove the pain. You do not try to rebuild the bridges that you burned down. You said you can not control the future, but you are the only person who can repair what has been broken. You said that you cannot get back the things that you missed, but dwelling on what you missed will only cause you to become bitter. You do not get to be angry. You made the choices that led to losing your children. You moved two states away from your children. You lashed out the few times they tried to fix things. If anyone gets to be angry it’s your children. All you can do is make it known that you’re always going to be there for your children, and love them.
Love always,

C

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