Dear Kathy,
For a moment I forgot who we were. For a moment I thought we could be everything that we’ve never been for each other. I dared hope for a normal with you. But then you reminded me that we will never have that. We will never have a relationship beyond a few texts here and there. I will never have the support. I will never have the person I can share everything with. I am so jealous of other girls my age that have that. Instead I will always be the overly sensitive person who doesn’t care about anyone. I just wish you would see me as I am and not who I used to be. I will always get upset, and you will always find a way to upset me. No amount of hoping it will change will make it change. I really do wish that one of these days I can tell you that I am upset, and you won’t view it as a personal attack or imply that it’s my own shortcoming. I want to be able to tell you one of insecurities and you just tell me it will all be okay, or that you understand. But you just tell me that I need to work on this or just do that. I want to be able to share my life with you. Instead we are just always one second away from a fight.    
Love always,

C

Advertisements