I am upset. But I don’t have the luxury to kick and scream. Not anymore. Not that I have ever done much kicking and screaming. I have always just taken and taken the anger and hurt feelings until I finally explode. I am tired of exploding. I am so tired of being a ticking time bomb. This is why I started writing to you. So that I can get out the emotions that I need to express without hurting the people I care about. I don’t like being upset. I don’t like my self-deprecation. But most of all I don’t like taking it all out on the people in my life. I can take the punches. I have been doing so for over half my life. If people need to use me as their emotional punching bag, then I will try my hardest to let these notes to you take away the worst of the hurt and anger. After all, you, Kathy were the person to take the first punch. And if I can take them from the person meant to protect me, then I can take anything this world throws at me.